When you get to a certain age of life, you are required to take a test. Nope .... not the drivers license test. Not an eye test. Not an IQ test......... but that should be mandatory before they let you get the drivers license!!
No ... you get to have a colonoscopy. Yea .... fun.
This is my story about colonoscopies.
A couple of years ago, I agreeably went in to have the test. I eat well ... I get lots of fiber.... I don't eat junk food. This would be a breeze. I would simply consider it a fast.
As I was waking up, the doctor informed me that they found a polyp. I still thought .... no big deal. But it turned out to be an aggressive pre-cancerous polyp and I would have to have another test.
That test was clear and fine. I was told I was good to go for five years.
Fast forward two years.
Last winter, Honey received a postcard in the mail, stating that he was due for a test. I asked when I was due, thinking that I could get this little number in and done as my deductible was paid. Oh, you aren't due for quite a while.
In April, the postcard comes. You send me something in........ April?!?!?!? Are you crazy????
So I did the rational thing ....... I ignored it.
In June, a reminder of the reminder postcard came. You send me something in........ June?!?!?!? Are you crazy???? Talk to me in October.
And I ignored it.
In July, I get the full-blown letter with a copy sent to my doctor. Then my doctor's office starts calling .... twice. Then my doctor called. I'm pretty certain I had the test without the benefit of anesthesia!!! I was told ... in no uncertain terms ... to make an appointment!!!
I made the appointment.
So ..... today I am on a liquid diet. No dairy ... no tomato juice .... no orange juice ... no alcohol.
I can have a Popsicle.......... but no red.....no purple. That leaves orange. Not so much!!!
I can have gelatin........... but no cherry. No black cherry. No strawberry.
Are there any other flavors???? And don't say ......lime. So-called lime gelatin has no resemblance to a lime! The best I can say ..... it tastes green. And not a good tasting green!!!!
So far today ....... I have been sipping coffee. OK -- I've been chugging coffee. Lots of coffee. And its 11 a.m.
And. I. Am. s-t-a-r-v-i-n-g!!! I am a very-wired grumpy individual!
Now .. don't leave me messages about how important this test is. Cuz I know. The test is actually very very easy to go through. But I am a little scared of the findings this time. This was a very aggressive type of pre-cancerous polyp and the chemo is the mostly deadly chemotherapy out there. Our family oncologist has already kicked my butt too! But I'm just a little busy and January would have been a better option.
But by this time tomorrow, I will be done. And you might be able to find me at the all-you-can-eat buffet, scarfing down everything in sight. But most likely, you will find me at the Cafe Indigo. Yum!
Can't go messing up that sparkling clean colon with a lot of junk food!!!!!!!